Stop Putting It Off : Why We Should Never Wait Until It’s Too Late To Change Our Lives.

In The End We Only Regret The Chance We Didn't Take

As a whole most of us do not like change. Change takes us out of our comfort zone and so by avoiding it, we ‘think’ we know exactly where things are going. However despite us seeking any opportunity to avoid change, it’s only when we look back at photos from years ago it hits us that actually everything has.

I know I’m definitely not the only person, guilty of scrutinising themselves whilst looking back at old photos and thinking “why the hell did I ever wear that outfit” or “who told me to pluck my eyebrows that thin!?”. However, ask yourself this, do you remember the moment or period of time (after those photos were taken) where you actively decided to change your sense of style or go less heavy on the tweezers?

Most of the time, we cannot pinpoint the moments when things changed (unless it’s related to certain events i.e having your first child, getting married or losing a loved one). However large events aside, from our friendship groups, to our hairstyles, to even the choice of clothes we wear. We can easily go through life completely oblivious to the changes going on right underneath our noses.

For me I never utilised change, I knew things did change because ‘that’s life’, however I didn’t actively go out of my way to alter the things I didn’t like about my self (or life). The reason for this is because the things we complain about are also the things that make up our comfort zones. So by avoiding change we feel ‘safe’, even if we remain in circumstances and mindsets that make us unhappy.

Me personally, I used to always pick my flaws apart, over analyse the mistakes I’d made, yo-yo diet and constantly compare my self to ‘Jo Bloggs’ on Instagram, who seemingly had it all (the list goes on).  Although being worlds apart from that person now in both lifestyle and health, the main reason I had engaged in these behaviours for so long was because it was all I was used to and it seemed easier to continue being this way then to do anything about it.

It was only when my dad took his own life, I actively pushed my self to do things outside of my comfort zone and intentionally seek opportunities to alter my life (in a good way). I developed better eating habits, used exercise as a way to heal my body instead of destroying it. I decided to start this blog AND move to the other side of the world. However, the worst part in all of this is that it shouldn’t have taken losing my dad, to actively change the things I wasn’t happy with in life. But if there’s one thing that the past year has taught me, it’s that you should never just give in and become a product of the things you can no longer change and instead become a product of the things you still can.

So even though I had absolutely no idea if making these significant changes to my life would pay off. I knew it was more important to face my fear of failing and do the things that both terrified and unsettled me, so that I wouldn’t look back and ask myself “what if?”. I wanted to use change to help create my own circumstances, instead of becoming ‘victim’ to the ones I’d found my self in.

Despite all of the above, to this day I do still have my regrets (I’m human after all). I wish I would have spent more of the last 3 years with my dad (instead of shunning that meal because I was too concerned with the calories). Told him I loved him more and most of all, I wish the last time I ever saw him, I would have hugged him for a few seconds longer (instead of getting back to my run) not knowing it would be the last time I would ever get that chance. See that’s the problem, we wish for things but don’t make them happen and instead like me, are quick enough to regret not doing so after the opportunities have passed us.

So remember this, you are entitled to become who ever you want to be and it’s never too late to do so. If you want to stop surrounding yourself with negative people in a bid to better your own head space, do. If you need to part ways with someone close because they are encouraging a habit you need to stop, then do it. If your job is making you ill from stress, change it because your health is never less important. The bottom line is that if you are not happy with something, do something about it.

You should never wait until its too late to make changes in your life. You are not expected to be the person you were 5 minutes ago, let alone 5 years ago BUT if you don’t like the life you are living or the person you are, then you owe it to yourself to start working on that right now.

Change isn’t always easy or comfortable. Change doesn’t always mean wiping the slate clean either, sometimes it involves completely re-grafting it but when you really think about it… How exciting is that?



The One Thing That Made Me Start Writing Again…

Today marks almost 10 months since my dad died. Looking back on the last 10 months, It’s extremely hard to comprehend how quickly time has gone and how much life has changed because it evidently does after any loss. However throughout the huge array of negative emotions that i’ve gone through, some positive things (that I never thought would ever materialise again) have also arisen.  Now believe me I would trade in an instance, all of the positives to have one last proper conversation with my dad or at least get the chance to say goodbye. However there is nothing more self destructive than ruminating on the ‘what if’s’, or at least thats what i’ve found true for me. So today I didn’t want to write about a number of months that have gone by since I last spoke to my dad or my feelings towards it. Instead I wanted to talk about the main reason I started this blog.

To a lot of my good friends they’ll know that i’ve always written, be it songs or poems. However after my dad died, I knew in the midst of loss of control over my emotions and feelings, I was determined to write something that I could read at my dad’s funeral. I wanted to write something that would encapsulate what I wish I could have said to my dad at the moment but also serve as a reminder of his life in my writing (something I never thought i’d be doing so soon). So I wrote a poem and read it in front of the many friends and family who attended his funeral.

After the funeral I didn’t read over this poem again, I didn’t share it with anyone but those at the funeral and left it very much untouched. However reflecting on the last 10 months, that poem was the fundamental reason for why I started to write again. I’d never shared any of my writing in public before and after I had, it gave me the confidence to create this space. A space where I could be open, express how I felt about grief and loss but also write honest content people could relate to.

I truly never thought i’d post this poem on the internet however I also never thought I would have started this blog either. So if these words resonate with someone, somewhere thats going through a loss then I guess i’ve achieved the ultimate purpose of why I love to write.

To me “These Words” (what I named the poem) served as the last conversation I would ever have with my dad and for that reason I did have it copyrighted just because I wanted to keep the original unaltered.

So if you were ever looking for a back story as to why I decided to brave it and write about my ideas on the internet, this poem was the reason and today as we bury my dad’s ashes, it seems the right time to share this.

These words were originally just for my dad but today I thought i’d share them with you.

These Words


In these words I’ll bring your freedom, In these words I’ll make you free.

In the words upon the sheets I hold, your pulse lives on through these.

I have written you upon this page and now you’re part of life’s big song,

and to the eyes that have not met this world, your legacy lives on.

Your charismatic nature, brings a smile to my face.

Though this world will never be the same, you’ll always have your place.

So we may not share the same sky and I so wish you were here.

But I know you’re somewhere listening and I hope it’s with a beer.

So when I look up at the blackest sky or the days that do not shine.

I know you’re looking down on me saying, “darling you’ll be fine”.

To a husband and a father and a friend so near and far,

You’re looking after all of us because you are the brightest star.

So to an eternity of freedom I will raise a glass of wine,

because your presence brought a richness to the poorest of mankind.

To a man who was so full of life in the darkest days you’ll shine.

I hope you’ve found your peace my love and one day I’ll find mine.


So no matter where you are in this world dad and no that no matter where these words go. We will forever miss you and remain the family of four we were, but maybe after today we’ll start to find that peace i’ve been so desperate to find.