Here’s something to think about…
Imagine what you could achieve if you never experienced fear or doubt.
I don’t mean the type of fear when it comes to running from genuine life-threatening situations, I’m referring to the fear of rejection, fear of taking risks, or saying what we really think. We’ve all done (or not done) things out of fear. Because by trying things we’ve never done means entertaining the idea that we could potentially fail or it not go the way we’d hoped. It plays on my mind a lot actually, how different my life might have been had I not let fear dictate some of the decisions I’ve made.
To some degree we need fear, it has essentially kept us alive for thousands of years. But like a lot of our evolutionary traits this fear has seeped into areas of our lives that have made it become more about limiting our potential rather than keeping us alive. For example, not applying for that job because you think you’re not good enough or they’ll reject you. Not going overseas to travel or live that lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of because you might run out of money, not make friends, not find somewhere to live (the list goes on) and be back to square one again. Not asking that guy or girl out on a date because you think they’d never be interested in you. A lot of what could be the best chapters of our lives never even get to happen because we predict the end before we even have a chance to enjoy the beginning. We essentially are consciously sabotaging ourselves and opportunities!? Mind-blowing huh?
I know I’m not alone in saying I’ve done a lot of things out of fear, I’ve stayed in situations longer than I should have in the fear that not being in them would be worse. I’ve stayed comfortable in situations because they are safe but safe doesn’t always make you happy. In 2019 I want to take more risks, risk failing, risk putting my self on the line, risk putting my self out there to be judged (blogging has done that I guess too), risk saying what I really think.
In 2019 I’m going to try not to let fear be so apparent in my choices.
Here are a few other things I hope to do more (or less) of in 2019
1. The past is the past, learn from it but don’t live in it.
This is a big one for me. When I lost my dad I spent a lot of time trying to run away from the past. I thought running was a good way of dealing with it but in fact it was more harmful than ruminating in it. Instead what I’ve learned is, the past does give us a lot of insight into what we should and shouldn’t do in the future, it teaches us a lot of lessons if we let it and not beat ourselves up over it.
2. Get out of my comfort zone, more often than not.
How nice is it in our comfort zone? It’s so easy, fear-free, and for the most part when we are in it we all know exactly what we are doing. For some people staying in their comfort zone is what makes them happy and that’s completely fine. For me, some of the best decisions I’ve made this year have started by me saying “f*** it, what’s the worst that could happen?” and just going with it. So, try that class, or hobby, leave that job if it makes you unhappy. Some of life’s greatest achievements require going outside of your comfort zone and some of the best experiences come from not playing it safe.
3. Forgive and forget.
A quote that resonates with me so much about forgiveness is:
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
The number of people that will wrong do us throughout our lives will be far greater than those who do acts of kindness (harsh but true). However, If we became bitter about every single one of those people it’s going to turn even the most positive of people sour. Don’t let others taint your kindness, or let your positivity be overshadowed by someone’s bad day. It’s a short life, after all, and it’s far too short to not just forgive, forget and move on.
Happy holidays friends.