Health and Wellbeing – Life with Laura

Stuck In A Rut? How To Tackle The Negative Thinking Cycle.

August 23, 2017Lifehappiness, Health and Wellbeing, Mental Health, Mindset, positive, WellnessLeave a Comment

Have you ever reflected on a moment in time or a particular period of your life and questioned the purpose of it? The “I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going” moments. Or perhaps you find yourself in a mindset that you feel you can’t shift and have very little control over.

I’ve previously written about why it is ok to not have your life together or know where it is heading 100% of the time (even when everyone around you does). However, in the most severe times of uncertainty the “it will all be ok in the end” advice, doesn’t always ease the mentally taxing effects of not knowing how it is all going to pan out.

When you are not entirely sure where your life is heading, it can leave you feeling caught up in a fairly negative rut. The lack of direction in your life, can lead to a lack of motivation. The waiting for your big breaks, are made even more difficult when your best friend or colleague gets theirs and watching your peers buy their first home or get engaged, can hammer home how together their life is in comparison to your own. These events alone are discouraging at the best of times but the broadcasting nature of social media, can makes it even more difficult to escape from.

So if you’re feeling caught up in the cycle of uncertainty or find yourself in a bit of a negativity rut , here are some ways to get that head out of the sand and into the sun.

1.Practise Positive Affirmations

Something as simple as telling yourself each day something you can do or like about yourself as opposed to things you don’t, can make a huge difference when it comes to breaking out of a negative mindset.

“Affirmations are positive, specific statements that help you to overcome self-sabotaging, negative thoughts. They help you visualize, and believe in, what you’re affirming to yourself, helping you to make positive changes to your life and career.”

What we tell ourselves we can do (or can’t do), has a huge impact on what we will go on to eventually do. As you’ve probably gathered from anything I have ever written, I believe your mindset affects everything from your motivation to start something, to the end result and essentially provides the underlying foundations for everything you do. Similarly, how you talk to yourself internally, very much determines both the relationship you have with yourself and the person you are externally.

It is a too common belief, that our mindsets are fixed. However a negative mindset can be learnt and become habitual just like any other unhealthy habit (like drinking or smoking) and like smoking isn’t good for your body, negative self talk is just as damaging to your mind.

2. Acknowledging Negative Thoughts

If you are stuck in a negative rut or you’re not happy with where you are in life right now, waging a war with your own thoughts isn’t going to make it any better. What I mean by this is, try to counteract the negative thoughts instead of encouraging them. Acknowledge the feelings of being stuck, low or unhappy and don’t carry on engaging in behaviours that simply perpetuate the cycle. For example, If you are unhappy about your weight and know that comfort eating makes you feel worse, avoid these behaviours, as these will only keep you caught up in a pattern you are trying to break.

3. Take Control Over Your Social Media (and unfollow).

Social media is used for a lot of beneficial purposes. It can be a place to post, share memories and beautifully captured photos and videos but also has the ability create a huge wave of lifestyle comparisons. I will admit that I do enjoy scrolling through Instagram, seeing what my friends are wearing or the amazing places they are travelling too. I also follow a lot of accounts that for me are inspiring and their way of thinking/living really resonate on a similar scale to my own. For these reasons I would never permanently delete social media (but perhaps limit my time spent on it).

However other accounts can leave me feeling a little deflated about myself or maybe their values and moral just do not echo mine. We have very little control over what other people post online and I do believe everyone should have a certain level of freedom when it comes to their social media. However, what makes someone else inspired , happy or self satisfied may not necessarily do the same for you. It’s your responsibility to control who you let influence you and allow yourself to follow. In a time when you’re not feeling particularly content with your own life, the last thing you need to be following are accounts that make you feel even worse.

4. Or Better Yet Switch It Off

Take sometime offline, explore other ways you could fill your time (try reading, writing, painting, exercise). I can tell you it is hard to switch it off for a while because like it or not social media is addictive. However taking some detox time from your online persona’s can actually improve productivity, focus and even your mood.

“Sometimes it’s about creating a life that feels good on the inside, as opposed to concentrating on one that looks good on the outside.”

5. Take Small Steps (but do them daily)

I spend 10 minutes each day listening to motivational speeches, why? Because somedays I also can wake up and see little point or feel directionless. I am a firm believe that the things you read and listen to now, will determine who you are in 5 years time. Dedicate 10 minutes each day to some form of ‘healthy’ habit’ i.e something your future self will thank you for. This could be meditation, stretching, writing, reading up on recipes or doing a couple of squats (your future bum will thank you). It really is the small things that will make the most change.

“Your future depends on what you do today”- Ghandi

One of my favourite quotes to live by is “this too shall pass” because if we can comprehend that even the good times have to end, then we should also find comfort in knowing the difficult and uncertain periods will end too.

Laura

xoxo

2017 New Years Resolutions? Why You Should NEVER Set Them.

December 16, 2016Life2017, Goal Setting, Health and Wellbeing, Mental Health, new years, New Years Resolution, SMARTGoalsLeave a Comment

New Years Eve a time for booze ups, resolutions and all round chaos . For most of us it’s about seeing off the year and seeing in the new year with hope and prosperity of it being better than the previous. While I love the optimism and quite frankly I think it’s great to want the New year to be better because no one exactly wants it to be worse do they? But it’s the way we go about it that we are doing wrong….

New Years Resolutions.

The typical new year new me mindset really plagues us all come January 1st but put your hands up if you’ve ever set a New Years resolution thats failed (my virtual and actual hands going up here). Some of the most common resolutions include to lose weight, eat healthier, BE healthier, stop smoking,take up a new hobby etc etc. The problem with these examples are although they can be communicated in very few words, they are actually very big and complex . It’s one of the main reasons that people don’t achieve their resolutions because they are too large to tackle and therefore either go hell for leather on them for 2 weeks and fall off the wagon because the extremities of them are not maintainable or just the sheer prospect of approaching them is enough for them to go running for the hills (I guess for those whose resolution is to run, they may be power walking to those hills ).

Here are my five top tips for new years resolutions…

1.DON’T SET THEM: New Years Eve is like an over dramatic Sunday. To elaborate, in the year when we are starting new diet, gym regime etc etc, we always tend to hide behind the trusty “i’ll start on Monday” excuse and thats similar to the New Years mentality in December “i’ll start in the New Year”. It dosen’t help that Christmas starts in November and Christmas themed cake and chocolates are flowing from office cupboards and supermarket aisles, so it’s no wonder that we don’t want to start the diet until the ‘new year’. I feel we wait for the new year like it’s a Monday ‘the magical day where every thing will start and happen’, but all that does is put it off, creates this excuse and everyone knows nothing grows from avoidance and excuses. Instead of waiting for the New Year where no doubt by one AM New Years day, your in the kebab shop inhaling cheesy chips and potentially puffing on that cheeky cigarette (there goes those two resolutions you set) look at the new year as a fresh start, don’t put all your hopes in one days worth of resolutions, because like Monday when the new year comes around and you may have already messed up on those resolutions, you don’t want to be waiting for a whole year to start them again.

2.Why wait for the new year? To elaborate on the last point, why are we waiting for Mondays and New Year’s to make a change? February 1st is as good as January 1st, just like starting your diet on a Wednesday is JUST as effective as starting on a Monday. Stop waiting, start DOING.

3.Set GOALS not resolutions: according to the dictionary a resolution is defined as: a firm decision to do or not to do something. Now compare it to the definition of goal:the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. See theres a huge difference, resolutions tend to be things your NOT going to do, where as goals are things you ARE going to do and want. Goals relate to desires and achievements and to me even the word sounds more appealing than resolutions and more importantly the definition behind goals are about adding to your life and resolutions most of the time seem to be about taking things away.

4.Make goals SMART: Specific/small, measurable, achievable, realistic, time based.

Specific, it’s SO important to be specific about your goals but also sometimes when they are big ones like lose weight, you need to break them down into smaller more manageable goals such as, go the the gym 3 times a week (or find an exercise you enjoy… check out my “5 things Exercising Consistently Taught Me“).

Measurable, take weight for example it’s easy to measure weight isn’t it? You can use the scale number or clothes size etc but how do you measure for example “to be more confident”. First things first that type of goal needs to be broken down into smaller more specific goals such as, doing a presentation at work or start reading more self development books. When the goals are specific and small enough it’s easy to measure it, even if you have to get creative.

Achievable and Realistic, now I truly believe if you set your mind to it you can achieve anything, however setting a goal for example to run the London marathon on two weeks training and you’ve not run for 5 years just ‘ain’t gonna happen is it?’. Being realistic is more for your benefit than anything else, because by being realistic your more likely the reach that goal instead of being disappointed when your striving towards something that’s not.

Time based, now i’m not a big believer in time scales and saying the end goal should be achieved in 2 months or 6 months, especially if they are big ones. I do think though in order to keep on top of your goal and tracking it, once you’ve broken your goals down into micro goals A,B,C these I feel should be time based. So for example a main goal may be to learn a new language, first step in achieving that goal (micro goal A) is to pick a language, now this may take some time doing some research in terms of class availability and proximity, but if you give your self the time scale of 6 weeks to establish the language you want to learn, then that way you are keeping on track to achieving the goal.

5.Goals are for life, not just for New Years: Never stop setting goals, as humans goals keep us focused, keep us inspired and driven. Without goals we simply can become autonomous. When ever you reach your goal never just stop there, each goal you set and achieve you will grow from. Therefore big or small always have at least three goals in your head, it doesn’t matter if at that specific time you’re not striving towards all three, but it’s so important to our mental well being to have that passion to achieve something. Keep in mind that not all goals can be achieved in a year, for example if you’ve got a goal to buy a house, then likely hood is that goal will take you longer than a year, therefore if you’ve broken down that goal into micro goals for example micro goal A setting up a bank account to START saving into, you can achieve lots of micro goals in the one year but the main goal may take you two. In addition to this goals such as to ‘get fit’ and ‘stop smoking’, these are life style changes although the initial goal is to get your fitness up or stop smoking cigarettes, maintaining that for the rest of your life is the ultimate one.

No matter what you do in 2017 keep setting goals and keep smashing them, the only one who can do that is you.

Laura xo

Are you exercising your mind?

October 15, 2016LifeHealth and Wellbeing, Mental HealthLeave a Comment

This week on social media i’ve seen a lot of posts discussing “mental health awareness” and the fight to change the stigma attached to mental health disorders. I’ve seen a lot of posts reinforcing that it is ok to talk about mental health struggles and to come forward if you are struggling because you certainly are not alone. All of this I completely agree with and truly believe that the more we talk about our mental health, the more normalised it will become to talk about it, when like our physical health it becomes unwell.

However something I think that isn’t talked about as much is ways to strengthen our mental health, how to cope with daily stresses and how to fight the pressures of life. I think when we hear the word mental health, a lot of people associate it with depression, anxiety and eating disorders. However when we talk about our physical health we don’t quickly associate it with diseases such as cancer, we tend to associate it with fitness and the absence of illness. The question that really stumps me is, why do we perceive mental health and physical health so differently? Arn’t they both just two different types of health?

We seem to exercise our bodies to keep physically healthy but how about exercising our minds to keep them mentally healthy. Here are a few things I do to keep positive and exercise my mind each day….

1.Meditate. Most people associate meditation with the yogi hippy crowd (two things i’m not because I suck at yoga and I don’t have the skin tone for colourful clothing), but it’s one of the best habits i’ve ever chosen to get into. Although some people can meditate for hours on end, I tend to do just 10 minutes when I wake up and 10 minutes before I go to bed. For me it’s simply a way to start the day with a clear mind and end the day with one too. I feel a lot of us carry daily stresses from one day to the next, or the last thought of the day is related to what you’ve been scrolling through on Facebook and Instagram. Meditation essentially teaches you to breathe and clear your mind but mostly it just teaches you to stop, take a break and focus on the present. Just a few of the benefits of mediation include reduced stress and anxiety levels, improved sleep and increased energy levels. So if you’ve got 10 minutes each day to stalk through Instagram or watch compilation videos of animal fails (which I must admit do improve my mood too) then you’ve got 10 minutes to meditate.

Tip: there are heaps of guided and non guided meditation videos on youtube!

2.Gratitude. We live in a world where even with the quickest technology and most up to date phones are still not quick enough or new enough. There will always be bigger and better and you’ll never catch up with ‘the Joneses’. So everyday I write down 5 things each day that i’m grateful for. Trust me it will start to change your perspective of the day and eventually you’ll become more content and grateful for what you do have rather than focusing on the things you don’t.

3.Read! I’m the first to admit I used to HATE reading, for example when I was a child i’d say to my mum “i’m bored”and she’d tell me to read a book and i’d be like “hello is that some kind of joke?”. But i’ve recently found an appreciation for sitting down and reading a book, even if its just for 30 minutes a day. I find reading trains you to use your imagination, something that watching TV tends to strip away.

4.‘It’s ok not to be ok’. Any one who says that everyday they are 100% at the peak of their happiness and never have a down day, are in the minority if not the nonexistent. I believe everyone has days where they feel like life’s not going right for them or are just in a crappy mood for no good reason. My advice is to just accept these days, embrace them and don’t fight them because you won’t feel like that forever and tomorrow is a new day. Just like we cherish the good days, we should embrace the bad ones too because if we didn’t have them, we’d never be able to establish the good ones. When I have days where everything becomes too overwhelming and I just want to curl my self into a duvet shaped burrito and eat a burrito, I do it because at that moment that is what makes me feel better. Don’t be so hard on yourself, no ones perfect and the sooner we realise that, the more accepting we become of the days when we just are not at our best.

Laura

Eating For Autumn

October 13, 2016FoodHealth and WellbeingLeave a Comment

The end of September brings more than just cold weather, winter fashion trends and generally quite miserable moods (summers over, brace UK 7 month winter). End of September brings Autumnal colours in nature and in food. I love Autumn firstly because its cold enough to eat porridge without getting those sweats you do when its 25 degrees and your eating piping hot porridge and its just a beautiful time of year, where the trees are all different shades of orange and it’s dare I say almost christmas. But back to porridge, I truly think porridge is pretty underestimated in the breakfast front;queue avocado on toast pic. I think most people from an early age were probably force fed lumpy bland porridge (I was) and its engrained this bitter taste in the mouth, “i’m not going to eat that” mentality.

However if you’re willing to let go of your unpleasant childhood memories and trust these porridge tips may seriously up your breakfast game.

1. Rolled porridge oats (I tend to buy the cheaper versions, you can go all ‘oat’ and buy the expensive brands from whole foods but at the end of the day when all the other ingredients are mixed in I can never taste the difference.

2. Coconut Milk. Yes i’m one of those ‘hippies’ who drinks almond milk because it’s cool, I’m not really I just prefer nut based milks. Coconut milk is so sweet, it hardly tastes like coconut and just sweetens up the porridge without adding any extra sugar and its low in calories.

3.Frozen blue berries and rasberries. I find fresh berries SO expensive, however the frozen packets tend to be around £2 for 400g and last so much longer. I don’t defrost the berries because once mixed into the warm porridge they soften up.

4.Nuts and seeds. I tend to add pumpkin seeds and flaked almonds to give the porridge a bit of crunch, because if you’re like me I love my meals to have different textures. 5.Peanut Butter. Just add it in and you’ll thank me.

5. Added extras- cacao nibs, Chia seeds, Flaxseeds just add more substance.

Try it out and maybe we can give porridge a good rep again…

Laura